The surprising benefits of being afraid 🙀

These are trying times. There is a lot out there to be afraid of. While I type this, I am sitting comfortably at my office, with a job at one of the worlds best employers, and with the benefits and job security of a western democracy. What could I possible be afraid of?

Our brain is funny. It is so powerful, yet so simple in many ways. Our brain is wired to anticipate, and biased to anticipate risk. So, we are hardwire to wonder about all the bad things that could happen. And if a lot of bad things happen around us, this means we will likely wonder about when all this ‘bad’ will come and hit ourselves. Irrespective of an objective estimate of the probability of this actually happening.

Control attention, and you control fear

Mediation is a superpower. Not only because it sounds cool over dinner party conversations. But because it is the practice of paying attention with intention. Read that again: the power to pay attention to what we intend to pay attention to. Now apply this to the problem. You are afraid, and your brain tricks you into an amplified terror of a scenario which might – realistically – never happen to you. But your brain releases the juices that make you wonder, and keep your attention attached to that risk. Why? Because that is how we evolved to be over thousands of years. Now you – meditator extraordinaire – can intentionally direct your attention. Away from the biassed juice induced variant of a terrorizing story, and toward a more reasonable version of it. Wow. That is nothing shy of a superpower.

When are fears a ‘good sign’?

“The big unknown can be a good thing.” says Avni Shah in her speech around her fear of being held back. When she was presented with a fresh opportunity – moving to another country, starting fresh in a new team / space – was a sign that maybe this fear is a sign that what is to come is exciting, and new, and good. When we end up embracing the challenge, and dive into it, we might get disproportionate reward. In this state, the way we can direct our attention to what we believe is more credible is a key skill. Also, enlist support from folks who have a credible opinion on the topic. Like your former or current colleagues, your partners and family, or mentors. This will help ground your biasses, and help remove them. If there is a credible risk, it will be identified by people who you trust and have relevant experience in the space.

When might fear not be a good signpost?

Are you afraid? You are not afraid enough! ~Aragorn in The Fellowship of the Ring. Sometimes it is justified to be afraid. Sometimes. But that is rare. If you are in a car, you can’t see a thing because of the snow bashing against your window, and the road is getting increasingly slippery, then yeah, take the foot off the gas. One situation that many of us encounter is when we are trying to do something new, trying to ‘reinvent ourselves’. It is tricky to do this, but often for the wrong reasons. What got us to the place we are, is also conditioning us to believe that this is who we are.

“If you are in a place long enough, you become the place.” ~ Rocky Balboa

It is hard to step away from who we believe we are. But in some sense, it is the only path for us to become who we really are. Looking backward, there were moments things didn’t work out. I lost a job once where I built websites for a customer in Germany. I’ll never forget the email I wrote, full of arrogance, and childish finger pointing. It was before I even went to college. Had this worked out, I might have chosen a different path entirely. I am glad this failed. And while I am still at Google, there were teams and products I worked on that didn’t work. That failed. And I wonder: was this good? Yep, it was. Because it forced me to think about what I want to achieve. What is my path in this world? And that is by far one of the most intimidating things to do.

As Product Managers, we are more often exposed to the risk of failure. We lead areas which have a great deal of uncertainty. We are close to things sometimes not working out. We need to capability to handle this fear, and handle it systematically. Otherwise the toll can be large, and it can make it tough for us to take controlled risk in the future.

Take Action 🎬

📅 If you ever have any questions, feel free to book time with me for a quick PM consultation session.

📚 To learn about the growth mindset, read Mindset, by Carol Dweck. The book is a foundational shift in how we perceive the development of motivation, and skills. It provides practical approaches you can apply every day with your team to increase their performance.

📚 In his groundbreaking work on positive psychology called The Happiness Hypotheses, Jonathan Haidt explains the power of attention on our behavior, especially on improvements of behavior. Turns out even Benjamin Franklin had a way to leverage this magical property of our brain.

🦉 Consider upleveling your skills by taking the Product Management for AI/ML course from expert PMs on how to become a PM for AI/ML companies.